Check out my take on the latest Fast and Furious movie in my two previous posts if you haven't already.
Does anyone else think that reality television is getting way out of hand? I'm telling you, I honestly feel myself getting dumber as I watch it, and it's just so easy for me to get sucked in! You see, I have an abnormally large corpus callosum and the result is intense cognitive dissonance that somehow makes me attracted to things while they are simultaneously bothering me, so when I see bratty, egotistical and un-deserving people always getting their way on t.v. I have to watch, even though it makes me very angry. (I used a lot of big words! That's fun. Don't think I'm smart, I've done a lot of study about the human brain, but I don't know much about anything else. I don't even really know if all of that is true about me, it's just the best explanation I've come up with after doctors have repeatedly told me, "We simply don't know what's wrong with your head. That will be $2,648.")
It used to be that reality shows had to have catchy names to rope in an audience, and then they would use the scantily-clad airheads in their commercials to sell the sex to those who were too dumb to catch on to the cleverness of the show title. But, I've found that producers are getting lazier. There is a reality show on MTV that is called "Hot Girls in Scary Places." This is not a joke. Talk about cutting to the chase! No catchy name, just a blunt selling point; hot girls. Hmm, I wonder what that show is about? Who cares!? Hot girls equals me watching! Someone get me a beer.
Speaking of MTV, I freaken hate it. When I was a youngster, growing up in the hood of Pocatello, I was interested in music videos. That explains why I do what I do today. My parents never had cable television in their home, so whenever I would go to a friend's house, I would turn on MTV and watch music videos all day long. A friend of mine taped MTV for a few hours and gave it to me so that I had my very own music videos that I could watch at home. That's what MTV used to do: show music videos. Afterall, MTV is an acronym for "Music Television." I dare you to turn on MTV today and watch it for a whole 24 hour period*. Do you know how many music videos you will see? Zero. Do you know how many lame reality shows you will see? 24. And some of their reality shows feature old, washed up "celebrities" acting like children. It has nothing to do with music. Sure, sometimes their "celebrity" is a musician, but you won't ever see them play music except from their ipod equipped Escalade while they are driving to Target to buy toilet paper. Who cares!? I don't want to watch an adult throw a temper tantrum in public, go home and watch t.v. and then argue with his wife about where they're going to put their new pool-sized hot tub. MTV should change their name to NMTV (NOT Music Television . . . anymore . . . NMTVA). And their slogan should be, "Watch what washed-up celebs will do when they are desperate for cash."
(*I actually do not recommend watching MTV for 24 hours straight. Many have experienced side-effects such as: shortened memory span, forgetting to eat, forgetting to breath, and having a terribly skewed perception of reality.)
I hate shows like American Idol, The Apprentice, Next Top Model, or any other show that gives it's winner some type of career-based contract. I feel like it undermines those who actually work hard at their education, career, and talents by allowing someone to walk into a position of "power" for the sake of entertainment. Pretty soon the job interview will be obsolete. In it's place, a job seeker will compete with other job seekers in a number of mental and physical challenges in front of a television crew. "Who will be America's next top brain surgeon? Tune in next week to see who gains immunity and who is eliminated by the others."
"Will Tom's agility in the physical challenge give him the edge over the other's in the race to be the next Wal-Mart associate?" Then, when it is down to the final 5 contestants, the viewers will call a 1-800 number to vote for the person they think is most qualified. "I don't like that guy's attitude, I would hate to have him ring up my soda, so I'm going to vote for the other guy." (Do you like my random, conjectural quotes? I'm assuming you can still follow my thought processes.)
How awful would it be if they made a reality show to choose the next president of the U.S.? Oh wait, no one would watch that show. There are more important things to worry about. For instance, who, please tell me WHO will be Paris Hilton's new BFF!?
I'm the same way, when there is an overabundance of stupid in front of me, I can't look away! Reality shows are getting out of hand. And MTV stinks. But you have to still love Survivor. Right? Right?
ReplyDeleteNice use of the big words, by the way. My little boy is growing up so fast *sniff*
HA!! I really do hate reality TV shows. It makes me wonder what these people are leaving at home to go be on some lame-o show. Anything has gotta be better than living in a house full of people who are too dramatic.
ReplyDeleteFYI, that was Luanne leaving that last comment...didn't realize I was on Michael's account.
ReplyDeleteI agree with what you said, reality t.v. is taking over the world! And also, I have a hard time turning away from the hideousness that is considered reality nowadays. But, I have to agree with Jeigh, I still love Survivor. =) Also, good job with the big words. Even with all of those I was able to follow your thought processes! Hmmm...that's a good thing, right?
ReplyDeleteI agree for the most part. American idol doesn't fall under the category of a job interview and neither does top model. In fact, the apprentice doesn't fit your description of what the world would be like if walmart worked like a reality show because nobody votes. American idol is the perfect setup to give someone a career because the winner already has popularity that will folow them for a long time. Look at Taylor Hicks who won a few years ago. He is doing some broadway musical and people will see it because it stars an American idol winner (and because it's grease). When was the last time you had a job interview for a record deal? And you don't win immunity in any ofthr three shows You mentioned. That is saved for survivor and biggest loser.
ReplyDeleteWhat I am getting at is just admit you love the shows and get on with it because you don't know if the cookies are poisonous or if the tv show is going to come over with a knife when it promised cookies that you still are unsure if they are poison fee!!
Sorry for all the typos, my phone can't get it all right.
ReplyDeleteOk, Kev (can I call you "Kev"? I've never actually used your first name before),
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, that cookie thing is hilarious, I forgot all about that! Second of all, you watch way too much reality t.v. if you are able to identify the discrepancies between my HYPOTHETICAL reality show situations and what happens on REAL shows. Third of all, Idol winners get a record contract, Next Top Model winners get a modeling contract. These contracts are agreements in which the signer agrees to do something, and the company agrees to pay a determined amount of money in return. In other words, they are offered a job, therefore, it is a glorified, televised job interview. Fourth of all, Taylor who? Fifth of all, ok, I know who Taylor Hicks is, and I have to give him credit; Good singers belong in theater. When American Idol can produce musicians who can play their own instruments, write their own songs that aren't crappy, then I'll take it more seriously. Note the "write songs that aren't crappy" clause. Sure, Idol contestants can sometimes write songs and play instruments, but those songs usually suck. Case in point: Kelly Clarkson decides to do an all-original record. It didn't even sell half a million records, because it sucked. What is she doing now? Not recording any more records. All that American Idol does is find people who can read, then makes them sing songs that are pre-written and placed in front of them. They are basically creating more mindless Britneys. Lame. Purpleth of all, the only way Taylor Hick's "followers" will see him on Broadway is if they can convince their parents to buy them a plane ticket to New York, and allow them to miss school for a few days. Fourteenth of all, you need to pull yourself away from the t.v! It's rotting your mind! I'm surprised about how much you can tell me about each show! You're becoming one of them! And secondly, there is no way that I would admit that I love the shows. I can't really think of anything I hate more than the way the world somehow constantly hands egotistical, shallow, underserving invalids everything on a silver platter, which is essentially what reality television facilitates.
Ok Captain Hardy, you're right. Almost. I only watch American Idol on a regular basis. And the biggest loser. The biggest loser I watch because they give away less money and actually change people's lives. And American Idol I record so I can only watch a few performances and then I skip straight through the hour-long results show and see who sucked the worst that week and got voted off. Maybe we are having a miscommunication here. American Idol is a glorified job interview but for the type of job it is, it's the best way to have it. Kelly Clarkson sold half a million records because her song sucked. If she wasn't on American Idol and her album sucked, she would have sold half of no records. I could care less. I don't vote and I don't buy their music. I only listen to the radio in the car and I only live 1 mile away from work. Hmmm... So why do I watch the show? Oh crap... My brain IS rotting. I can't believe you forgot about the cookies. I still have that tape somewhere. It's very funny except I am really annoying in it. Some things never change.
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